Tag Archives: me

#101 – The Short List Since June…

Quite a few outings, even breaking the “Golden Rule” about not going about dressed up in one’s own hometown. (Threw that part of the “rulebook” out the window… heh heh heh…)

There’s also the usual monthly trips up to Sacramento for socials with the River City Gems, and nightcaps in Midtown/Lavender Heights after some of those socials.

The Luau Party with the Gems was an incredible experience, especially my first time among others in a one-piece swimsuit… ^_^; (And peep-toe wedges, and a cute beach hat..) – I even waded about in the pool and played volleyball with some of the other girls! ^_^;

My birthday was interesting – If I didn’t do any special outings, all my friends online, on both of my Facebook accounts, sent me birthday greetings… I tell you, it got me all choked up… Getting a tasty chocolate cupcake at the August Gems social, and a card signed by some of the girls with the Gems brought tears to my eyes… ^_^; (But I’ll always be eternally young-at-heart. ^_-; )

September, while not quite cooling down as much as I wanted, brought a few more outings, and some me-time in town, and the return to school, as I get my geek girl credentials for real! – It also ended with my return to River City Sparkle, where I pulled out as many of the stops as I could, and had a good time, and got out as myself among the “normal folk” as well! ^_^;

This month’s doing quite well, with my first trip up to Sacramento to see “Repo! The Genetic Opera”, and a showing of Rocky Horror Picture show here in my hometown towards the end of the week. (Debating whether I’ll have some local friends I know come with me, and if I’ll dust off the little black dress for the show!)

I’ll go into more depth on what I’ve been doing over the last few months in the next few posts… Stay tuned! **huggs**

#100 (What’s So Special About It, Anyway?)

… Actually, a lot, in fact, so much, that instead of making one big, long post that will probably take me about an hour or more to put together, I’m going to go with a series of little posts, updating and bring people up to speed on what my world’s been like since the end of June, 2011 through now.

Yes, this is blog post #100 – 100 is a special anniversary (and usually something ground-shaking, as in episode #100 of Criminal Minds)

The bad news is, I’m still out of work, and my COBRA benefits have been yanked out from under me three months early, thanks to my previous employer shutting down operations completely.

The good news is, I’m continuing to take small (though somewhat imperceptible) steps to get my life reorganized, and of course, express myself, even if only being a part-time girl, but I am getting out there, at home, at restaurants, the gas station, the mall, the grocery store, wherever I can, blending in, and just being a woman like any other, out in the world.

Stay tuned – I will fill you in, but I wanted to break this “writers’ block,” and just say what I need to say, before things backlog any further than they’ve become.

Yes, I’m alive, I’m somewhat happier than I’ve been in previous months, and I have a general idea of what I need to do — I just need to get out there and to it.
It’s all about staying alive, healthy, active, and focused.

(Oh, I have tales to tell about where I’ve been, and photos to post – Some of them have been posted on Flickr and Facebook, and elsewhere!)

Stay tuned, darlings! ^_^;

#82 – Pardon The Rubble…

Yes, the site looks different – The short story is this: I tried upgrading the theme I used, and it broke. It broke so bad that the entire site wouldn’t display at all until I switched to a backup theme. (I proceed to reinstall a previous version, still 1-2 steps up from what I was using, and basically had to re-tweak everything – sidebar widgets, color, placement of elements, etc.)

I’m happy with how it looks now – I hope it doesn’t seem too busy, or harsh on your eyes. Let me know what you think. (Oh! Apparently I got reCaptcha integration to work, finally. Google Friend Connect is off for now.)

Enjoy! Expect more outings and adventures coming up within the next few days!

#72 – My First TDOR Post

This marks the first year I’ve officially observed Transgender Day Of Remembrance, as I promised myself I’d make it to one event somewhere close to home this year. It’s fitting, because I’m finally coming to terms with the need to express my feminine side, and, well, like it or not, I am part of the “T” in LGBT. It’s a journey that has its perils, if you’re not too careful. Unfortunately, some of us out there have paid a terrible price for simply wanting to live their lives as they wished to do. This is the time to remember those who have been victims of transphobic-related violence and/or hate crimes, but also to remember those of us who are still here are part of a community that’s striving to be thought of as normal, and not deviants, freaks, or fodder for Jerry Springer, or Ticked Off Trannies With Knives, etc.

Anyway, I had an idea, inspired by the Transgender Day Of Remembrance Webcomic Project, to write a fictional story, from the point of view of “What if I were killed because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time?” – Ultimately, I’ve chose to scrap it, but I’ve saved the ending I came up with, for posterity’s sake… I’m ditching it to tell the story of someone I crossed paths with briefly, whom a lot of people in my area of Northern California may have forgotten, but I have not, for he has had some small effect upon me.

Continue reading #72 – My First TDOR Post

#62 – And Now, A Post Not About Me…

Well, not entirely. If you’re viewing this on a non-mobile web browser, you’ll see a nifty little addition to the lower left sidebar. I’ve added a QR Code (“Quick Response” code) that will forward the address of this web site to your smartphone, if it’s capable of reading these codes. (Flaunting my new mobile phone. I’ve been having fun with my nice new Samsung Captivate, which I’ve given a name – Cappy, or “Constance” – Ask me why I chose those names, you may be surprised. ^_^; )

Anyway, scan it with your smartphone’s camera, and it should work. You can get your own QR codes here at Kaywa’s site at http://qrcode.kaywa.com/.

Oh! Are you having issues with your Captivate not resolving anything over the wifi connection to your router, or at any public wifi area? Try powering down and rebooting the phone. (It works for me.) You also want to try setting up your Captivate so that the wifi doesn’t go to sleep when the screen does. (I did, and I’ll update this with my findings.)

Just press the lower left “menu” softkey, press “Settings”, then press “Wireless and network”, then press “Wi-Fi settings”. Press the “menu” softkey again, and then press “Advanced”. Press “Wi-Fi sleep policy” and then select “Never”.

Of course, if all else fails, just deal with the minute or two a reboot cycle takes up. And yes, if you’re curious, my Cappy was born on August 8. (The day after my birthday this year.) It unfortunately suffers from the “shutdown” issue some of us Captivate users are having. Mine seems to do well when the battery’s taken down to 85% charge, but I’m trying to isolate why it’s causing it. If things get really bad, I still have time to swap for a hopefully fixed model. (But I love my Cappy… Captivate is love. ^_^; ) – I hope you’re loving yours as much as I do!

Hugs and kisses,
— Julie Anne ^_^

#61 – Stumbling In The “Pink Fog…”

First of all, I would like to apologize for the lack of updating as of recent, at least within the last day or two. I’ve been going over some things in my head, for lack of a better term, I’ll call it a “crisis of faith.”

I’ve heard of an expression that’s more or less been adpoted here in the trans community, referred to as the “pink fog” (for girls who want to be boys, it’s known as the “blue fog”) – I think I’ve been in it for quite a bit. I’ve had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine, in fact, one of the first friends I’ve told about me. He seems to have his reasons why he thinks I dress up. In fact, I get the feeling that he thinks he knows what’s best for me, more than I do.

I felt really terrible on most of the drive home from out of town Saturday night/Sunday morning. I actually considered deleting my entire Flickr account, closing down my blog side, and pulling the plug on my Facebook and Twitter sites – Essentially deleting myself from online. I know that’s an irrational and selfish response, and it wouldn’t benefit anyone, besides myself.

I promised myself I wouldn’t purge, and that goes for virtual purging. I intend to remain an online presence, and hopefully soon, a physical presence, at least beyond my own home or hotel room.

My friend doesn’t care about hearing about what I’m planning to do, feeling that it’s strictly a “fetish”. I’ve resolved never to bring it up in front of him again. One failure, three successes, hopefully.<

I’ve done so much to move forward, in the hopes of learning to love myself, regardless of who I am, that to turn back or “unmake” myself is not possible. The key seems to be achieving some sort balance between both sides of me.

I’m stil moving forward, regardless. Where I end up will determine on where I’m at, and how I feel.

For now, I’m still part-time, and most likely will be for quite some time. It doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a man. It means I just have something more than most out there.

Obviously, it won’t help to rush into things. I’ll have more to say about this. I’ve got things to get in motion for the upcoming weekend.

#39 – A Momentary Lapse Of Reason…

I’m probably going to catch hell for this, but I have to get this off my chest. I’ve struggled with this for about the past 24 hours.

A friend of mine came up with a theory why I manifest as Julie Anne, citing that I was created as a means to give myself an identity independent from my male alter-ego, and therefore independent from my mother, and if I told her about this side of me, I would lose the desire to continue doing this.

Continue reading #39 – A Momentary Lapse Of Reason…