Tag Archives: journey

#116 – We Interrupt This Hiatus… Relocated in Phoenix!

Yes, for the last three months since the April 7 post, my world’s been tied up in getting a few more “bucket list” things out of the way, while preparing for a relocation to Phoenix, AZ, for the next few years. (Give or take)

I miss California, and all my friends there, and I hope to visit as often as I can, but perhaps, like my new “home” city’s namesake, I’ll have a chance to be reborn, and refocus on what I need to do.

However, I did get a few more things out of the way…
Continue reading #116 – We Interrupt This Hiatus… Relocated in Phoenix!

#111 – After A Brief Break, Back To The Good Part!

First off, reports of my Flickr account’s demise are greatly exaggerated. Here’s Wave One of the catch-up since the end of 2011!
Catching Up - 01 Catching Up - 03 Catching Up - 04 Catching Up - 05 Lips must always be perfect...
I’ll see if I can get a couple more up soon!

Other than that, still out of work, still pushing that envelope, and still exploring the hidden treasure and greatest adventure of my life that is… well… me. ^_^;

I’m back on track for weight loss, returning to Weight Watchers, tracking portions, food choices, and trying to integrate regular exercise into the program. Of note – A pair of size 24 Dickies Girl college pants I purchased back in the spring of last year are quite loose in the waist. I think I’m ready for size 22, or perhaps 20. ^_^;

More updates when I can. This is me when I’m running my own program… finally!

#95 – Picnic In The Park, And Some Brave New Steps…

Catching up with the last few months, because this is my forum, and I have every right to “spike the ball,” using my home field advantage, of course! ^_-;

Saturday, May 21st was another adventure, as well as another small step for me getting out and about among the mainstream world, for that day was the River City Gems picnic, the second event of the month, at a park along the Sacramento River, by one of Sacramento’s many suburbs.
Continue reading #95 – Picnic In The Park, And Some Brave New Steps…

#94 – Stay Tuned – More Updates Coming…

About three months or so of stuff to cover, including some more steps in my journey over the last three weekends in a row.

In short:

May 21: Went out to a park on a picnic with “mai gurlz”, and then to a solo journey to a nearby mall in Sacramento, CA for an hour of browsing.
May 28: Out and about as myself at FanimeCon 2011 in downtown San Jose – in casual wear (a cute top, jeans, and my long wool coat – It rained a bit) during the afternoon and early evening, then formal wear (my favorite LBD, opera-length gloves, dressed to the nines!) for Rocky Horror Picture Show – Donig the Time Warp in 3.5-inch heels, and not twisting an ankle in the process! ^_^;
June 4th: Out all day long for Sacramento Pride, including browsing around nearby Downtown Plaza and Old Sacramento.

Longer write-ups are on the way… I will make the time, and there’s more stuff on my mind I need to blog about here.

#86 – Interlude: Taking That Leap of Faith (Though I Fight My Own Doubts)

Here’s something to break a pattern: This is an entry that’s decidedly not about new pictures, or about my progress on my journey, for that matter.

I am driven to move forward; To prepare myself for being out on my own, to be able to fend for myself, to find someone to (hopefully) spend the rest of my life with, to be able to actually feel that I’m living, and not just taking up space, and accumulating stuff that won’t be of use to me when I’m gone from this world.

The Big Question: How to get from point A to point Z, and, of course, all the steps in between.

Continue reading #86 – Interlude: Taking That Leap of Faith (Though I Fight My Own Doubts)

#85 – With A Little Help From My Friends… (Part II)

With a brief interlude, and also because I passed the 40,000 total view mark in just under 13 months on Flickr, and after a stream-of-consciousness post hammered out within 15 minutes, at Kara’s suggestion, I’m resuming my post series, where I’m highlighting and thanking some of the people who have played a significant part in my emergence online, and in real life. My journey is still continuing; My story is still being written, and everyone here, and elsewhere, is a part of it.

For reference, please see the last post, “With A Little Help From My Friends… (Part I)

Continue reading #85 – With A Little Help From My Friends… (Part II)

#83 – With A Little Help From My Friends… (Part I)

Just a few people out there I’d like to acknowledge. I may not get to everyone this time around, but I value everyone who I’ve made the effort to connect with, and those who have friended me back as well. We need friends, especially in our journey. We are not autonomous beings, no matter what we’re told by the world around us.

Continue reading #83 – With A Little Help From My Friends… (Part I)

#61 – Stumbling In The “Pink Fog…”

First of all, I would like to apologize for the lack of updating as of recent, at least within the last day or two. I’ve been going over some things in my head, for lack of a better term, I’ll call it a “crisis of faith.”

I’ve heard of an expression that’s more or less been adpoted here in the trans community, referred to as the “pink fog” (for girls who want to be boys, it’s known as the “blue fog”) – I think I’ve been in it for quite a bit. I’ve had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine, in fact, one of the first friends I’ve told about me. He seems to have his reasons why he thinks I dress up. In fact, I get the feeling that he thinks he knows what’s best for me, more than I do.

I felt really terrible on most of the drive home from out of town Saturday night/Sunday morning. I actually considered deleting my entire Flickr account, closing down my blog side, and pulling the plug on my Facebook and Twitter sites – Essentially deleting myself from online. I know that’s an irrational and selfish response, and it wouldn’t benefit anyone, besides myself.

I promised myself I wouldn’t purge, and that goes for virtual purging. I intend to remain an online presence, and hopefully soon, a physical presence, at least beyond my own home or hotel room.

My friend doesn’t care about hearing about what I’m planning to do, feeling that it’s strictly a “fetish”. I’ve resolved never to bring it up in front of him again. One failure, three successes, hopefully.<

I’ve done so much to move forward, in the hopes of learning to love myself, regardless of who I am, that to turn back or “unmake” myself is not possible. The key seems to be achieving some sort balance between both sides of me.

I’m stil moving forward, regardless. Where I end up will determine on where I’m at, and how I feel.

For now, I’m still part-time, and most likely will be for quite some time. It doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a man. It means I just have something more than most out there.

Obviously, it won’t help to rush into things. I’ll have more to say about this. I’ve got things to get in motion for the upcoming weekend.

#25 – A Few More Steps (Or: A Few More Miles…)

Just a few words to say while I wait for my latest photos to upload to Flickr…

After dinner, and a few replies to Bree, a girl I know in Alabama, I was feeling a bit tired after watching “Mad Men” after dinner, so I decided to get some fresh air before it got too late.

At times over the last few months, I have gone out at night dressed up, and drove around the area in my car. It’s sort of progress, though your car is an extension of your home. (Hey, I’m not the only one who’s gone out driving en femme.) – This time, I decided to give myself a little challenge. I wanted to see if I could work the brake and gas pedals while wearing my 3″ heels. After a quick refresher tutorial on walking in heels, (Thanks, YouTube! ^_^; I’m making progress – The keys are to remember: heel-toe, heel-toe, start out slow, don’t keep the knees stiff, don’t make the thighs do the work, chest out and up, stomach in (Work those abs! It helps!) – I’m a bit more confident and less prone to stumbling, but I still need work, and of course, refinement of my walk.) it was out to the car, getting out of the garage, down the street, and off around the city.

Continue reading #25 – A Few More Steps (Or: A Few More Miles…)