Tag Archives: commentary

#70 – Halloween Is Everyday (or it should be…)

This entry is adapted from two separate blog posts I wrote on PINKEssence last night (I’m on there as “Julie Anne Morgan” ^_^; )

A friend of mine (one of the First Four whom I came out to back in May of this year) posted this blog entry on his Facebook, detailing a mother’s experience with her five-year old boy wanting to dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween, and her dealing with other parents’ reactions.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

While reading this, I was both happy and sad — Happy, for knowing that this boy had the full support of his mom for his decision, and sadness, for a missed opportunity from my teenage years.

Continue reading #70 – Halloween Is Everyday (or it should be…)

#49 – Change Is The Only Constant (Further Observations)

For the record, I stated that I am a “part time” girl, meaning that I have not been through any counseling or therapy, I am not on Hormone Replacement Therapy, Androgen blockers, what have you. I’m not even seeking SRS, or even living full-time as a woman. I’m nowhere near that point in my life, mentally, physically, financially, or even with a family and friend support system. If it ever happens, it’s years away from this point, should I choose to pursue that path. (And I know things will be more difficult compared to what my life is like at this moment.)

Still, I cannot deny that I am not quite the same person I was a year ago. I’ve noticed more and more in the last few weeks, I’m prone to fluctuations in my emotions. I’ve been trying to rid myself of occasional outbursts of anger (Which I’ve called “Rage of Angels”), but I’ve been finding myself getting more uptight and cranky lately. (I haven’t mapped it out to see if it follows a 28-day cycle.) I’ve been more prone to bursting out in tears if something really gets to me.

Continue reading #49 – Change Is The Only Constant (Further Observations)

#37 – An Observation (One of many…)

I’m starting to notice that it’s really getting to me when I’m referred to as “Sir” by people – When I’m in boy-mode.

I don’t know, I just don’t like it as much as I used to. However, when relating to people in public, I’m still playing the role I’ve been “trained” to do. In other words, dropping into the standard lower-register semi-monotone “guy” voice, never mind that my fingernails are rather long for a guy, and I’ve resisted the urge to get them trimmed, but I’m probably going to have to lop a few millimeters off of them anyway, because the ends are starting to bend and fray.

Still, I don’t like being called “Sir” anymore. It’s like I’m getting a constant reminder that I’m still projecting “guy” signals. It doesn’t do too much for the self-confidence.

It doesn’t mean I want to be called “ma’am” when I’m clearly not presenting as a girl, I don’t know if there’s a better more generic term.

More on this, I’m sure…

#36 – What’s In A Name? (“Classic” Julie Anne)

(Dear Readers: This is a public repost of an entry I posted to my LiveJournal, back around January 2010. Most of my TG-themed entries over there were set to a filtered group – No one was admitted to it, so posts like this one are being showing in public for the first time. I’ve come quite a long way over the past nine months, and the existence of this web site is a testament to that. I couldn’t have done it without seeing how others have paved the way for me, and of course, encouragement from friends on Flickr – You folks know who you are, and you know what I’m going to say — Everything I am today, I owe to each of you!)

So, roll that beautiful bean footage, I’m going to tell you how I came up with my name — Here we go! I’ll see you after the jump!

Continue reading #36 – What’s In A Name? (“Classic” Julie Anne)

#23 – At Least I Seem To Pass On Social Networks…

I have a Facebook of my own, of course, as part of my strategy to be all over the place online as Julie Anne. ^_^;

Today, I’ve achieved a bit of happiness, or at least it’s reason to make me laugh with contentment. I’m winding up a discussion with a friend of mine from Australia, as she’s acquiring a MacBook Pro. Between herself, myself, and the others joining in on the thread, there’s a lot of computer talk, and of course, the perceived image of Mac users. (Hey, she’s getting it for her graphic design job!)

I’m taking it as a compliment from one of the folks, who stated, “…is it wrong that I’m a little turned on by all the XXs talking OSs and hardware?” ^_^;

Now, if only I can pass in person, as well as online. ^_^;

#20 – If You Could Undergo a “Transformation”… (“Classic” Julie Anne)

(Dear Readers: This is a public repost of an entry I posted to a private group I initially posted my pictures to on my Flickr, back around late April/early May 2010, before I became brave enough to post pictures of myself in entirety publicly on Flickr. I still maintain the group, and it’s where some of the not-quite ready for prime-time pictures go. I owe the people I initially invited there my most sincere gratitude, because, if it wasn’t for their support, I wouldn’t be here today, either posting public photos of myself dressed up on Flickr, or even maintaining this site. Brankingston12, DJ Bridget, Francine, and Gordon – Everything I am today, I owe to each of you!)

“And Now, Our Feature Presentation…” (Originally posted on “My Time To Shine” private group on Flickr on April 25, 2010, at around 3:53 AM PDT.)

If you could undergo a “transformation”… And by transformation, I’m not talking about your own makeup/clothing/wig ritual, or going to a professional service, but physically transforming, by magic, science, or some other method?

Continue reading #20 – If You Could Undergo a “Transformation”… (“Classic” Julie Anne)

#17 – For Further Clarification…

A few more words after such a very long post. Yes, I can write, and at times, I may write too much. That’s just how I am, whether I’m wearing mens’ jockey briefs, jeans, and a “guy” t-shirt, and my current out-of-control “semi-mullet” hair, or if I’m dressed to the nines in my little black dress, black tights and 3″ heels, my favorite fashion jewelry, my nice new wig, and my finest makeup, while writing this. (I’m not telling. ^_-;)

Anyway, the clarification – I am committed to the journey – I made a promise to myself – I will not purge, ever. I may sell or donate stuff I’m not interested in or that doesn’t fit me, I may change with the times and how I recreate my body, but I am here, and I am here to stay for as long as I can. I’m sure in time, I will ease down, perhaps to 3 or so updates a week, and get into a place where I’m more real, but I have a feeling that I’ll still want to be a boy as often as I want to be a girl.

No matter where the journey takes me, as long as it’s what I want, that’s what matters. I can’t guarantee how long I’ll do this, but I’m putting my heart and soul into this. Perhaps this is more meaningful than anything I’ve ever done over the last 15 or so years since I was unleashed onto the internet.

xoxo, as always…
— Julie Anne ^_^

#16 – Catharsis Part I (Was: Consider This A Placeholder)

Nothing much has been going on, not even with friends. (those who know, and those who don’t)

The job search has stalled for now, but I will kickstart it again, along with getting back on track with exercise and portion control for meals. (And counting what I eat.) I guess everyone needs a break at one point or another.

I’ve read some blogs elsewhere, some good, some bad. I’ve given though to why some others stop posting, take down their pictures, or decide that their path takes them out of a less public eye. It’s funny, my journey’s barely started, and I’m already thinking about the end, though it may not be the ending I’m thinking it’s going to be.

I’ll fill this space with something somewhat worthwhile later tonight. I’m going to get out, walk, have a late dinner, get in a showing of The Departed, and continue looking at netbook computers. (I’ll watch The Departed tomorrow, I guess – I’m still tired out from only 5 hours sleep last night. I need a bit more. I’m surprised I’m up typing this.)

(What follows here was original posted, in a slightly different form – over on Flickr – I’ve expanded and rewritten a bit for here. Sit tight, this is going to be a long one.)

Continue reading #16 – Catharsis Part I (Was: Consider This A Placeholder)

#13 – Bored After The Movies, Not Ready For Sleep Yet…

I saw Inception earlier tonight – I have to say, it’s a film that kind of messes with your head if you don’t pay too much attention. (*sigh* – Cillian Murphy… ^_^; – He worked with Ellen Page in Peacock a while back, I think I mentioned that in an earlier post. Yes, I’m jealous that he looks better than I do, whether dressing as a guy or a girl. All the more reason why I need to get motivated and work on slimming down!) I think I was more surprised at the actors I didn’t recognize, like Lukas Haas (Remember when he was the young Amish boy co-starring with Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis in Witness?) and Tom Beringer. (Man, he’s getting gray and heavy-set.)

Continue reading #13 – Bored After The Movies, Not Ready For Sleep Yet…