#69 – Happy Halloween! (Today Is Catch-up Day!)

It’s been a somewhat eventful month for me, and in between watching Game 4 of the World Series, and handing out treats to visiting kids, I’ll be getting some long-promised posts out of the way here.

I’ll space out the post releases so you don’t get too overwhelmed. I can’t promise anything right now, but I’ll strive for more consistent releases from now onward.

Oh, yeah… November is NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month! I definitely have a story in me. I’ll link to my LiveJournal, and put sections of my work-in-progress up here.

Enjoy the day, and keep checking back here!

#68 – New Photos! (New Text Coming Very Soon!)

…Not like I’d let the site fade away. I’m just waiting to make some time to hide myself away and catch up on the past three weeks’ worth of my life since I started attending events with the River City Gems group, up in Sacramento, CA.

Yes, I know, I need to catch up on blogging about my time at River City Sparkle at the beginning of the month, and then the Halloween party this past weekend. Next Gems event I’m hoping to make is the November social, happening on Saturday the 13th! Sorry, between hanging out on PINKEssence, and playing Lord Of The Rings Online and Dynasty Warriors Online, they’re taking up most of my waking hours. ^_^;

Anyway, some of the most recent pictures since the beginning of the month!

River City Sparkle 2010 - Just Your Average California Career Girl Wednesday Evening in Knockarounds... Me At River City Sparkle 2010
Me at River City Gems' Halloween Party 10-23-2010 (Schoolgirl Take 2) Me at River City Gems' Halloween Party 10-23-2010 (Schoolgirl Take 1) IMG_8782_edit_crop IMG_8793_edit_crop
IMG_8799_edit_crop IMG_8806_edit_crop IMG_8806_edit_crop IMG_8828_edit_crop
IMG_8836_edit_crop IMG_8846_edit_crop_1 IMG_8846_edit_crop_2 IMG_8861_upload

#67 – Comments Form Updated…

After an abysmally unfavorable signal-to-noise ratio over the last few months, I’ve taken the step of requiring CAPTCHA validation in order to post comments. I’m using it in conjunction with other tools I have here to cut down on my spam I’ve been receiving. Fortunately, it’s working, in fact, it was working too well. Out of over 265 comments, only two were legitimate, and two more were from me.

I don’t want to miss any actual comments, whenever this blog takes off and gets more well-known, but I’m trying to make my workload a bit more manageable.

Thanks for you understanding!
— Julie Anne

#66 – Yes, Still Alive – Now, Onward: Finally, A Decent Dream…

(Yes, it’s been a while since I did regular posts. I’ve just been doing the usual – Unwinding after River City Sparkle (Don’t worry – The long-promised post of my night, and the following morning – will be on its way soon! Really!), catching up on Lord Of The Rings (Playing the online multiplayer role playing game, as well as re-watching the extended editions of the Peter Jackson film trilogy.), and, of course – Getting back into the job search. Normal broadcasting is resuming, because… Well… This blog is more or less about me chronicling my journey.)

This one is about a dream I had this morning, and frankly, any nights’ sleep where I remember my dreams is a good sleep, indeed…

Continue reading #66 – Yes, Still Alive – Now, Onward: Finally, A Decent Dream…

#65 – Catching Up: River City Sparkle 2010 – My “Thank You” Post

Hopefully I’ll be able to collect my thoughts, and detail my entire weekend here. For now, I give you the post I sent to the River City Gems group on Yahoo! about an hour ago:

“(Be warned – this is a long post. I like to write, as most of you will find out. ^_^; )

I wanted to start off, by expressing my thanks to the staff of the Red Lion Hotel, and, of course, the staff and officers of the River City Gems for making my first time out (At a Gems event, or in public, for that matter), something very special to me, something that I will remember every day for the rest of my life.

Yes, I’m the (somewhat shy) new girl who showed up in the little black dress, the long black gloves, managing not to fall while teetering and getting around in 3.5” heels, the one who stood up when they asked any of the girls if it was their first time out, and their first Gems event. Thank you for welcoming and accepting me, for putting on a wonderful night of socializing, entertainment, and fun, and for making me feel welcome.

Continue reading #65 – Catching Up: River City Sparkle 2010 – My “Thank You” Post

#64 – First Time Out – Going to River City Sparkle 2010

I’m getting ready to head up there in a few hours, up to Sacramento, CA from my home. It will be my first time out in public, and in the company of others like myself. I hope to take some pictures, and of course, chronicle my experience there.

I’ll be posting when I have a chance. It should be fun!¬†For those who are going – I’ll see you there soon!

Hugs and kisses,
— Julie Anne

#63 – T-Dar… I’m Glad To Know I’m Not The Only One…

Another sign of affirmation that maybe I’m moving down a path I was meant to go… Go check out one of Stana’s most recent posts on Femulate.com.

“T-dar”, or “tranny radar” (or, as I call it. “tranny sense” — As in, “My tranny sense is tingling.” ^_^; ) seems to be somewhat rampant. I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has a rather pesky habit of attempting identifying other trans people when they’re presenting as their ideal selves. It’s a habit I desperately need to curb myself of. I certainly wouldn’t want someone giving me grief if they found me out. (And trust me, it’s not hard. I’m rough on myself, because I just am. I’m not that deluded. I know I have a figure more suited to Mrs. Doubtfire, rather than Anne Hathaway, or Anjelica Huston, for that matter. I would expect to get read near-instantaneously.) I would expect it from someone I knew from my boy-mode side, especially if they were able to place my face with my boy-mode self, despite whatever makeup and wig I put on.

I would truly dread being found out, so I wouldn’t want to do it to anyone, even if my suspicions were true. (Unlike Stana, I have never confronted any suspected trans “sisters”, and I never will.) ^_^;

Maybe I’ll have my moment in the sun over this weekend sometime. I am heading up to Sacramento, CA for River City Sparkle this coming Saturday. Perhaps pictures of me will surface outside of here and my own Flickr. (And of course, PINKEssence.)

Now, if you pardon me, I must finish packing. So much to do, so much to look forward to. It’s almost like I’m a 16-year old girl, looking forward to her first prom. (But then, where is my date? Just don’t assume it’s a he. ^_-; )

#62 – And Now, A Post Not About Me…

Well, not entirely. If you’re viewing this on a non-mobile web browser, you’ll see a nifty little addition to the lower left sidebar. I’ve added a QR Code (“Quick Response” code) that will forward the address of this web site to your smartphone, if it’s capable of reading these codes. (Flaunting my new mobile phone. I’ve been having fun with my nice new Samsung Captivate, which I’ve given a name – Cappy, or “Constance” – Ask me why I chose those names, you may be surprised. ^_^; )

Anyway, scan it with your smartphone’s camera, and it should work. You can get your own QR codes here at Kaywa’s site at http://qrcode.kaywa.com/.

Oh! Are you having issues with your Captivate not resolving anything over the wifi connection to your router, or at any public wifi area? Try powering down and rebooting the phone. (It works for me.) You also want to try setting up your Captivate so that the wifi doesn’t go to sleep when the screen does. (I did, and I’ll update this with my findings.)

Just press the lower left “menu” softkey, press “Settings”, then press “Wireless and network”, then press “Wi-Fi settings”. Press the “menu” softkey again, and then press “Advanced”. Press “Wi-Fi sleep policy” and then select “Never”.

Of course, if all else fails, just deal with the minute or two a reboot cycle takes up. And yes, if you’re curious, my Cappy was born on August 8. (The day after my birthday this year.) It unfortunately suffers from the “shutdown” issue some of us Captivate users are having. Mine seems to do well when the battery’s taken down to 85% charge, but I’m trying to isolate why it’s causing it. If things get really bad, I still have time to swap for a hopefully fixed model. (But I love my Cappy… Captivate is love. ^_^; ) – I hope you’re loving yours as much as I do!

Hugs and kisses,
— Julie Anne ^_^

#61 – Stumbling In The “Pink Fog…”

First of all, I would like to apologize for the lack of updating as of recent, at least within the last day or two. I’ve been going over some things in my head, for lack of a better term, I’ll call it a “crisis of faith.”

I’ve heard of an expression that’s more or less been adpoted here in the trans community, referred to as the “pink fog” (for girls who want to be boys, it’s known as the “blue fog”) – I think I’ve been in it for quite a bit. I’ve had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine, in fact, one of the first friends I’ve told about me. He seems to have his reasons why he thinks I dress up. In fact, I get the feeling that he thinks he knows what’s best for me, more than I do.

I felt really terrible on most of the drive home from out of town Saturday night/Sunday morning. I actually considered deleting my entire Flickr account, closing down my blog side, and pulling the plug on my Facebook and Twitter sites – Essentially deleting myself from online. I know that’s an irrational and selfish response, and it wouldn’t benefit anyone, besides myself.

I promised myself I wouldn’t purge, and that goes for virtual purging. I intend to remain an online presence, and hopefully soon, a physical presence, at least beyond my own home or hotel room.

My friend doesn’t care about hearing about what I’m planning to do, feeling that it’s strictly a “fetish”. I’ve resolved never to bring it up in front of him again. One failure, three successes, hopefully.<

I’ve done so much to move forward, in the hopes of learning to love myself, regardless of who I am, that to turn back or “unmake” myself is not possible. The key seems to be achieving some sort balance between both sides of me.

I’m stil moving forward, regardless. Where I end up will determine on where I’m at, and how I feel.

For now, I’m still part-time, and most likely will be for quite some time. It doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a man. It means I just have something more than most out there.

Obviously, it won’t help to rush into things. I’ll have more to say about this. I’ve got things to get in motion for the upcoming weekend.